Porn, Kids & Other Mess: 5 Simple Ways to Help Protect Kids Today

Hey dear reader, if you popped here looking for porn, but maybe actually want to kick the habit, don’t give up! Pls check some resources on FTND here, or stories here.  I also wrote this some years back. ❤

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It’s been summer, Corona, lockdowns, parents stressed, and lots (Lots) of kids on screens.

Between Fortnite, Scratch, TheKidShouldSeeThis (which is brilliant but taps Youtube), TikTok it’s easy to lose track. But convenience sometimes comes with a price.

1 in 10 visitors to a porn site is under 10 years old. (2016).

How many more kids have smartphones and screen access at earlier age since 2016?

And it’s not just porn. These generations are confronted with so much.

Pick a Fight, Warrior

Not just your health, how’s your Heart these days? ❤

2020 locked our world down, and just as we’re touching streets again, the News of Yet Another police killing sets our global heart on fire.

My Dutch kids are literally watching in their classrooms what mom, grandma and grandpa have been speaking for years–not always subtle, sometimes hearts hurt too much to break it down slow.

But life has many wrecked patches. This is our human heritage.

Where do we take our stand?

Maybe Kids aren’t a Distraction, but the Main Event?

Ever been in a store and witnessed a child meltdown? The parent is either a. trying to ignore, b. negotiating/pleading, or c. hoisting kid in prem and getting out quick. (yes, I’ve been ‘all of the above’ person).

Parenting can mess people up.

We think we’re calm, sane people, but kids blow that up. You get a new spectrum of emotions, including fierce protector, bottomless love, anxiety, grief,… add another child to the mix and watch anger jump off the Richter scale when you see one hurt the other.

Yes, that was me who clapped so hard and stood up shouting “Stop!” at my kids during a Hema breakfast outing. The restaurant went silent for a moment.

It can feel like a sliding scale between brain mush and losing your mind, but is something more profound going on?

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #10. Sex = A-Bomb, for Better or Worse

Final post in #UnashamedList series. Written especially for youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, (sexual) abuse, etc.
Series intro and full 10 Day list here.

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Sex was a massive part of my youth. I’ve shared snapshots of how hard it is being sexualized at an early age throughout this series. I’ve come out about the insidiousness of porn, upsides of “waiting,” and consequences of just doing everything you think is right.

But everything is more complicated Today.

That’s me on my 17th Birthday. No Instagram, Twitter or Tinder back in the 90’s. No Selfies or Filters to daily challenge my self-esteem. If a party got crazy, any d* pics were probably taken with a throwaway camera. There was no Social Media to torch a reputation or courage.

And when I went through a “tomboy” phase, LGBTQ wasn’t even on the radar…

There’s so much pressure on youth today. Few places to just Be. #MadRespect for all walking through it daily…

You’re so much stronger than you think…

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #9- Get Yourself Checked w/a Friend

Day 9 from the #UnashamedList. Written especially to support eg youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, sexual abuse, etc…  Series intro here.

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You’ve got to do it sometime.

I’m going to be honest. I don’t know if getting tested for STD’s is so normal now that it’s trend. I heard Trevor Noah (The Daily Show) joke once about Chlamydia and how everyone has it.

Oh really?

But if you’ve never been checked out and have been sexually active–from intercourse, to just oral sex– Get. Yourself. Checked.

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #8- Your Body Means Something, It’s OK to Wait

Day 8 from the #UnashamedList, a special series written to support any youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, etc…  Series intro here.

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We live in an instant gratification society.

Almost everything is at our fingertips, with a click or swipe. Waiting is a special skill.

Especially with sex: how foreign the idea of waiting might be…

Still, I wish I did. What’s more, I wish someone told me this was even an option. Waiting, sexual integrity, and my body as valuable property weren’t topics I was busy with.

Music, crushing and fun was.

Kids.

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #7- It’s Not Cool for Teachers or Parents to Hit On You

Day 7 from the #UnashamedList series. Written to be a resource for any youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction,..  Series intro here.

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After reading Day 5, my husband dropped this:

“Op een oude fiets moet je het leren.”

Apparently it’s an old Dutch phrase meaning, literally: ‘You’ve got to learn it on an old bike.‘

The cultural meaning is: get your sexual practice with someone with experience.